About that....

I got told that I was a negative person this week,
and on top of all my new found problems
I've found that the comment really bothered me.
So after some major life changing news this week,
I felt like I needed to be more positive...
but then I talked to my mom
who justified my feelings.
I'm not naturally a pessimist,
but I've been through alot this year.
And my cynical and overly analytical attitude
is just proof that I've had alot to learn.
I have learned alot this year;
you can't trust people right off the bat.
Best friends change,
Being alone is better than being with the wrong people.
I have more faults than I wanted to admit,
I needed to learn how to treat people better.
Being patient in Gods timing is hard,
Sometimes bad things can turn into blessings.
I ALWAYS fall for the wrong people,
I learned what I want in a companion,
Better yet I've learned what I DON'T want.
Often times I waste so much energy on people who don't matter.
I'm trying to do my best,
some days it feels like none of that even counts.
But I do acknowledge the good stuff,
I give gratitude where it is warranted.
I appreciate my family and the amazing friends I do have.
I may not be a big ball of sunshine,
but considering the trials I've got on my plate
I'd like to think I'm handling things relatively well.
I always feel that optimistic people just haven't had enough trials yet.
They're still naive to what the world is really like...
and that someday they'll wake up and get realistic.
Anyways what I'm getting at is...
Well...
Just don't judge me.
I'm not done yet.
I've got alot left to learn.
And life is hard.
Anyone who tells you it isn't hasn't lived.
We do get those silver linings,
that's the stuff that gets us through the crap.
So don't give up on me just yet,
and in return I'll do the same.
"This life is to be enjoyed, not just endured..."
I need to remember that more often.