Is anybody listening?

I feel like the only time I write on here is when I'm having a bad day....
sorry to disappoint but today is no different.
How do I say that I'm a total wreck,
without sounding like an over dramatic 13 year old girl?
Can you?
If not, oh well.
I'm a wreck.
But of course I can't actually admit that.
Not to anyone else at least.
I hate it when people care out of pity.
Ew.
If I'm actually being honest with myself...
I'm scared.
I'm worn out.
I'm insanely confused.
I'm lonely.
I miss being needed.
I miss being hugged.
I miss caring about other people.
I miss having someone to care about.
I dont have alot to say,
but I want someone to listen.
Just. Listen.
I want answers.
More than anything, answers would be great.
This is all just one big complaint,
but if I actually talk to anyone they tell me everything will work out.
And yes I know this is part of God's plan.
I know these are my trials.
They'll make me stronger.
And all that other mumbo jumbo.
But I just need to freak out for a minute without feeling guilty.
Without feeling bad for feeling how I do.
Cause man I'm scared.
I'm absolutely terrified.
But in the end it probably doesn't even matter,
no one's listening anyways.

Just an update!

Still loving my laptop!
Loving my family and friends even more,
and still SO blessed!
In less happier news....
I found out last week that
in addition to the Endometriosis,
I have Polycystic Ovarian Syandrome.
And possibly Diabetes type 2.
I find out tomorrow for sure.
Really trying not to freak out...
its difficult.
Its just hard not having anyone to talk to about it.
I have 5 weeks left of my 6 week break from
Chiropractic care,
then I'M DONE!
Things are slowing wrapping up and falling apart in my life.
Though I'm sure it'll all work out how its supposed to...
in one way or another.
IN other news!
My crazy mother signed me up for LDSsingles.com.
NEVER.NEVER.NEVER
again.
Weirdies on there.
I've talked to entirely
TOO MANY members of the opposite gender this week.
I'm good with my group of guys,
at least I know they're normal.
Well...as normal as they're gonna get.
I registered for classes last week,
school starts the 24th!
Oh and I get to go on Trek with my family ward this summer!
SO STOKED!
Well thats me in a nutshell :0)

So lucky, so blessed

WOW.
This week has been
AWESOME
to say the least.
I had the opportunity to work at the office,
and LOVED every stinkin' minute of it!
Made some pretty dang good money too!
More than I expected.
I also gave my notice to one of the families that I nanny for.
SOOOO glad to have that done!
I FINALLY finished my Chiropractic care!!!!
We do the final evaluation on Monday.
I also find out more about my endometriosis on Monday,
though that's not a happy thing,
I'll be glad to have some solid answers.
But on the happiest note of all,
I got to see Dani and Garrett today,
found out some super SPECTACULAR info;
and on top of it all I received the laptop that my
TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME
brother David fixed up for me,
which I am currently writing this blog on...
IN MY ROOM!
HOW SWEET IS THAT!?!?
I know right!?
Anywho I'm so
so
so
so
HAPPY!
I LOVE MY FAMILY!
MY FRIENDS ARE THE BEST!
AND THE GOSPEL IS TRUE!
I'm beyond lucky, loved and blessed.
Mostly I'm GRATEFUL.
SO very grateful!