I needed to write this down somewhere so it'll stop playing over and over in my mind and I can focus on other things, so here it is. I don't expect anyone else to care but it matters to me so I'm putting it down. I recently realized that I had slight feelings for one of my best friends, and in the attempt to keep the air clear I told him...flat out. I don't want to be one of those people that's in love with their best friend for ten years and never tells them. That's dumb. Well while he proceeded to tell me that his feelings were not the same, that was not the worst part. You see this friend of mine...lets call him Elder Ohio is currently serving a mission for my church...in my area. So not only does he not feel the same BUT he also can no longer talk to me till the end of his mission....in JULY.That's FOUR months away...FOUR! While he's assured me we're still best friends and repeatedly told me that I had major guts for even telling him, it still sucks. I don't mind being alone, for the most part I enjoy it; that is until today when I realized that I don't mind being alone as long as I have Elder Ohio to talk to. He's my person and I feel empty without him. So all my hurt feelings, questions, venting and missing will go unfixed, unanswered, lost and kept to my lonesome self till July. Last night I made a calendar to mark off how many days till I get my best friend back. Though things have not gone according to plan lately and I'm left with no friends and only family to talk to, I'm still trying, I WILL become my best me. And it appears as though I'll have to do it all on my own. Wish me luck.
Yours,
Miss Average
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